, ,

Well I have done it again! I have proven that humans love to be tortured, and because of this I will continue to do it nightly. See, my human servants decided to go to sleep. I of course had other ideas in my mind. Here is what happened when the lights went out and the oh so trusting humans closed their eyes.

1. I climbed up onto the dresser and started to knock things off of it, not once but TWICE! (that they noticed anyway) The humans got up and decided to yell at me so I went and hid. Not cause I was scared, but as long as they were up, I couldn’t do the other things I had planned.

2. I knocked over the trash in the bedroom. There was Q-Tips in there, and I love the taste of earwax in the morning!

3. I dug in the trash in the living room. It serves my humans right for throwing away such tempting objects as wrappers and cans, and snot rags…I LOVE THOSE! I shred them and leave snot shreds all over the floor!

4. I took a roll of toilet paper and drug it to the living room. I shredded it up real good, so they can’t use it any more, and they have a mess to clean! BONUS! Who doesn’t like fluffy softness all over the rug?

5. I opened the cupboards and dug in them, even dragging some things out of there. You know how much they enjoy that one? Whooheeee!

6. I jumped up and knocked the books, phone, and remote off of the bedside table. Everyone knows humans shouldn’t be allowed to have such things…it distracts them from what is truly important…ME

7. I dug in the closets looking for Styrofoam packing peanuts. The humans threw them out and now I am pissed. They will get theirs!

8. I decided since that was not nearly enough I would eat some of my mom’s hairbrush hairs, so when I pooped, it would hang from my butt until it dropped off hair and all onto the floor! THEY LOVE IT!

And through all that they still love me and think I am cute. I still get loves and kisses, and even treats. Why? Because I am cute as hell…and I have the power! Tis the life of a cat!